Have you ever been tossed into an impossible situation? One in which you didn’t see a way forward?
An I-didn’t-plan-this-part-of-my-life-and-and-don’t-know-how-I-will-face-it kind of scenario?
You see, that’s just the kind of place where our faith ends and God begins.
I believe the Lord allows us to walk through impossible situations so he can show us he is the God of the impossible.
Last fall, I faced the ending of a relationship with my boyfriend of one year.
It was my longest relationship. That may not sound very long to some of you, but for me, it was.
So when we broke up, I thought it was the end of everything, even though I knew it was not God’s will for me to continue forward in that relationship.
In my newfound singleness, I wasn’t sure where to start.
I should mention that this occurred a month after my 30th birthday. Not exactly the way I wanted to start my 30th year of life, especially when I thought marriage and kids were going to be in my near future.
To add to my devastation, my relationship with my family had been rocky for some time, so I felt like I had no one. I wasn’t sure anything good could come out of this.
In the midst of my despair, I remember thinking, “Well I guess I’m heading into a dark season.”
But then I heard a gentle, familiar whisper say, “Actually, you’re heading into a season of light.”
I love when the Spirit speaks futuristic words like that, because though it was confusing then, now I understand what he meant.
But at the time, I didn’t know where to begin. I didn’t know how to start my life over. I’d never been in a situation like that.
It was a place of pain with so much sadness and disappointment that I felt like I couldn’t move. But what I discovered was that I didn’t need to. God met me right where I was.
He’s the King of Heaven, but He’s also the king who comes low. He always meets us right where we are. It doesn’t matter how far away you feel.
The following month was a series of nights spent crying alone in my bathroom at home.
One of those nights, I was on the phone with my sister, Meghan, and asked her how to deal with the situation. She’d been in a difficult time with her career a few years back, and I asked her how she got through it.
“Where did you start?” I asked.
Her answer was simple, but it meant the world.
“Well, I spent a lot of time just being really still before God and listening to the ‘Surrounded (Fight My Battles)’ song from Upper Room on YouTube.”
This was right before I started attending Upper Room, a small spirit-filled church in Dallas. At that time, I’d never watched their worship on YouTube. Until that night anyway.
I’m so sure that right there, as I sat watching that video on the cold tile floor, was when God started to change me.
If you go listen to the song, you’ll know why. The message of the song is that worship is warfare; that being in God’s presence is how we fight. We just need to be still before Him and praise Him. He fights for us.
It’s in this new journey that I’m only beginning to see that God’s timing, while hard to accept, is truly better than my own.
Though this season has been painful, it’s also beautiful, because it’s here where God is rewriting my story for His glory.